[Author’s Note: The following blog post is intended for mature audiences. It is rated [ML] for Mature Language. Parental discretion is advised.]
So today, the TTB approved a new label for a Fucking Awesome beer. Don’t believe me? Here is the label:
That’s right, the TTB approved a label for a beer from Westheim Brewery named after a town of Austria. Usually naming a beer after a town would be innocuous, except that the town in this case is named Fucking. You heard me, Fucking. A town that boosts a population of only 104, and it’s town signs have the distinction of being stolen more than most of the expensive art and jewelery in the rest of the EU combined. That is until they were made theft proof in 2005.
Now the EU can shrug this whole thing off by informing you that the town’s name is actually pronounced in a way that rhymes with ‘booking’, but let’s be honest, if this beer hits the shores of a beer culture that for the most part has yet to be bothered to learn how to properly pronounce Smithwicks correctly (it’s SmiDicks) then you can bet that they won’t bother to take the time to make sure they get those double O’s correct either. Some because they can’t. Some because they don’t want to. Because like ordering an Arrogant Bastard or a Raging Bitch, it’s fun to cuss at the bar. And nothing cusses better than Fucking. Snicker.
Anyway, once this Fucking premium beer gets the OK to hit the US market it will be no holds barred, maybe. The TTB has approved the label but some individual states have the ability to reject beer labels due to profanity. So it will be interesting to see which states want Fucking beer sold within their jurisdictions, or which states want the Fucking beer’s named changed.
I’m sure the American marketing machine, once they’re allowed to distribute this Fucking Awesome beer will jump on the hype of its Fucking name. For instance, I’m sure by Christmas you’ll be able to buy a Fucking gift pack that will have Fucking glasses in to which you can pour your Fucking beer. And if the Fucking Awesome beer takes off, other Fucking beers from Westheim are sure to follow. Which means you can probably look forward to Fucking beer events like Fucking tap takeovers and Fucking beer dinners.
And if I can get my hands on this Fucking Awesome beer you can definitely expect a Fucking beer review. Because I certainly won’t pass up an opportunity to review a Fucking beer. Awesome or otherwise.
You know what’s coming.
Time for another Fucking beer.